I Hate Jersey ShoreThis is a repost of a blog I did back in July. With today being the Season 5 debut for this God awful show, it seems fitting. -DLB Today's song of the day is Figaro Fist Pump by DJ Mustard (Sorry...) In case you didn't notice the title of today's blog, I don't like Jersey Shore. I don't like the people, I don't like what it represents, and I don't like that people watch it in a non-ironic way. If you're a Jersey Shore fan, we can just agree to disagree, and keep things civil. That doesn't mean I won't say what I think about the show though. This is my blog after all. If you are a fan of the show, you don't want to read anything after this, so I offer you THIS LINK as an exit to something happier.
If you stay, it's not my fault when you get this look on your face.
For those of you that stayed, let me compliment you on your taste. Now, let me explain why I can't say nice things about Jersey Shore.
1. These people are idiots, and you know it. Seriously, name one cast member on the show that exhibits intelligent thoughts, or even basic common sense. You can't, because that person would be smart enough to not be on Jersey Shore. These people are famous because of their stupidity. The show wouldn't be nearly as "funny" if they sat around and discussed the debt ceiling over a glass of wine, or if they talked out their issues like rational people. Instead, they hit the gym, they tan, apparently there's laundry involved, and a lot of drinking and humping.
An artist's rendition...
2. One of them is bound to breed. The cast members are encouraged to get frisky. It makes for better television, both because of the hook ups, and the inevitable melt downs. People like watching guys and gals get hot for each other, and then explode when it "shockingly" doesn't work out. If we didn't like the sexy flings, we wouldn't watch The Bachelor. And UFC and Pro Wrestling are proof that we love a good tussle. Jersey Shore wraps all that up in to one show, which is convenient. The problem is, when you convince the worst people in the world that it's a good idea to fool around, one of them is bound to end up with child, and even the shows biggest fans would have to admit that would be a tragedy. These are people barely capable of maintaining existence on their own, much less being responsible for an infant.
3. They're catching on... The bad hair, the tight shirts, the awful dancing, and the ridiculous slang. All of these things are catching on as trendy in mainstream society. Words like "smushing" are actual words people use now! And we won't even get started on the 6 foot wide sunglasses ladies are wearing these days. People are fist pumping, and spray tanning, and duck facing their lives away, and it's all thanks to a house full of people who may be part of a conspiracy to destroy the world.
Remember, these people dressed like this on purpose.
4. People won't admit they like it. This is the last, and biggest issue I have with Jersey Shore. I would say that 75% of people you know who watch the show, will tell you it's because it's such a train wreck. They tune in just to see what stupid thing these people will do next. Here's the problem with that logic. You don't go driving around all day hoping to see a train wreck. Sure, if you drive by one by coincidence, you might slow down, but you don't seek it out. But every Thursday, or as it's become known, Jersday, people race home, eat dinner, call their friends, and tune their cable boxes to MTV. You go out of your way to make sure that this train wreck smashes in to your living room once a week, and then you race to Twitter or Facebook to talk about it with all the other people pretending they don't actually love the show to the point where they'd feel lost without it. I'm hooked on wrestling. I watch it every week, and if I miss it, I watch highlights on YouTube. If I can admit that, you people can admit that you are addicted to this drivel. I could probably go on long enough to fill up the internet, but I feel that I've made my case. Again, this is not to pick a fight with people who like the show. I have no plans to come to your house and change the channel, or make you stop watching. If you like the show, by all means, you watch it. Just know that I'll be over here, judging you... watching wrestling.
OH GOD THEY'RE IN WRESTLING NOW TOO! Feedback time, do you watch Jersey Shore? Why? Or do you think this show may be a sign of the impending apocalypse? Know a Shore Addict? You can drop a response on Twitter to me, or The Goat, of if you do Facebook, we've got that too. (Drew Dalby, The Goat). Or, look down, and make words happen in the comment box. -DLB blog comments powered by Disqus |
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