Fixing A Busted Wheel

I'm really good at quitting smoking, but I suck at not smoking. That might sound weird, but let me explain. I am the king of quitting. I quit once a month, minimum. I get all riled up and convince myself that this is the very end, and pack it in. I finish a pack of darts, and I am DONE. For good this time too... but it never seems to take long before I'm back in line at the store asking for a fresh deck. The longest I've ever gone is 3 months, which is decent, I guess, but in the grand scheme I'm still smoking, so it's not that great. 

What usually does me in, and I mean nine times out of ten, is stress. When I have a bad day, the first thing I think of is lighting a stick, and trying to calm down. And then I'm smoking again. I'm not the kind of guy that can have a pack in the house, and not smoke them. I can't buy a sleeve and just have one, and go back to quitting. Turns out, a diet plan is a lot like quitting smoking. At the first sign of stress, suddenly all I wanted was a greasy cheeseburger with a mitt full of bacon on it. 

THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER DREAMED OF!

Wednesday was just that kind of day. I was still bummed out because of my knee injury on Tuesday, so that wasn't helping. I didn't sleep well that night, so I was pretty tired by the time I got done work, and I had to go do some grocery shopping, because I was out of... everything basically. The one thing I needed most was chicken breasts, which I go through pretty fast because I eat two a day. For some reason, I decided I was going to go to all the grocery stores in town to see if I'd been getting the best price so far, and I only had one store left, when my vehicle died. 

Seriously.

In the middle of the road between two of the stores, it just shut down. I finally managed to push it in to a parking space, but I couldn't get it running again. I tried everything I could think of, but I'm not much of a car guy, so I had to call for someone to come pick me up. At this point, I'm sitting there, tired, angry, sore, and stressed out beyond belief. And while I was sitting there, waiting for a ride, I noticed that I was just outside a fast food restaurant.

I won't say which one, but I bet you can guess.

I've been able to resist the temptation to cheat on my diet so far, mostly because I know that it's worth it to stick to my guns, but at this point, I didn't give a rat's ass. I hadn't eaten my lunch, mostly because I was out shopping for it when everything went to hell, and all I wanted to do was walk inside, and buy not just a burger, but all of the burgers. I was ready to rage eat my way back to 300 pounds, and I didn't care even a little bit. And that's when I realized...

Quitting fast food is just like quitting smoking. 

I admit, here and now for the world to see, I'm addicted to junk food. This isn't just a diet, this is rehab. I sat in that car, and had the same kind of fits I get if I go too long without lighting up, and when I realized that was happening, it scared the hell out of me. How can you get addicted to food? I mean, I know there are disorders, and that sort of thing, but this is different. This is just a simple matter of "I haven't had a fast food burger in 3 weeks and it's driving me insane". I stopped myself, my diet remains clean, but I won't lie and say that it wasn't a close call. My ride came, and took me home, and I ate a proper meal, but had I not had that moment of clarity, I would have fallen right off the wagon.

Does anyone ever actually fall off a wagon?

The good news is, now I know. I know that in stressful situations, I have to be very mindful of any temptation to cave in. Just like when Jenna pushes me past the point I think I'm capable of in the gym, and I have to stay strong mentally, I have to be strong when those cravings come. All in all, crisis averted, now it's time to take care of my injury.

On Thursday, I was supposed to work out with Christina, but she came down with the flu, which might mean that I am a curse on these poor women trying to help me. Luckily, Aanchal, who has a background in physiotherapy, offered to spend my session working on ways to strengthen my knee, so that I could get back up to full speed, and hopefully avoid further injury. We spent the whole time doing exercises and stretches to try work everything up to being solid. Turns out I have some very tense leg muscles that need to be stretched properly, and some very weak knee muscles that need to be brought up to speed. When all of that comes together, my knees should feel better than they have in years.

So now I have a nightly routine to do, which I will start tomorrow when I get back from the Metallica concert in Edmonton. The plan is to try get some light workouts in over the weekend, then back to the full program on Tuesday. Next blog, we'll have another weigh in, and an update on this squeaky wheel of mine.

 

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